Positive Women – 3 Tips To Keep Your Positive Woman Loyalty From Digging Your Positive Woman Grave

By on June 7, 2012 in positive woman, positive women, responsibility

As a positive woman, I was always a happy and loyal supporter of others doing good deeds – that is until I felt myself digging my own grave.

I found loyalty to have several elements and then I separated doing good deeds from being a good person. Let me explain because I think this may assist you in becoming and remaining a positive woman without selling yourself out through loyalty to a draining cause or person.

First of all, loyalty is defined by Webster’s as “faithful to commitments or obligations.” Faithful is “steady in allegiance,” commitments are “engaging oneself” and obligations are “binding promises” or “a sense of duty.”

So, for my example, being loyal is “steadily engaging ourselves in something where we feel a sense of duty.”

An example of my over-loyalty was when I agreed to create a business project for someone that should have taken 5 days and took 6 weeks! I stayed in it because I didn’t want to be a quitter. What I found was that I was manipulated and drained of my time, energy, positivity and money because I was loyal to a fault.

The good news is this sent me on a journey to recognize when to be loyal and when to cheer someone on from a distance without getting involved. Also, how to determine if someone is using me or truly needs and appreciates my assistance.

3 Tips To Keep Your Positive Woman Loyalty From Digging Your Positive Woman Grave:

  1. Trust your gut feelings! You will intuitively know when someone is genuine or playing you for a fool. Tell them, “Let me think about it and get back to you,” in order to have time to quietly feel the right answer.
  2. Value yourself. When we, as positive women, base our value on the number of people we can help, it means we don’t value ourselves. We are worthy and valuable even before we help someone else so if it doesn’t fit into your plan, say “No.”
  3. Know the 3 things you can do with an agreement. 1) Keep it. 2) Renegotiate it. 3) Break it. These are for YOUR protection, use them!

Had I done one or all of these three things, I wouldn’t have ended up in the situation I was in. I never got paid completely for the work I did but learning that my loyalty has to be to myself first has been payment enough!

Read my article at EzineArticles.com: Positive Women – 3 Tips To Keep Your Positive Woman Loyalty From Digging Your Positive Woman Grave

Leave me a comment and let me know how you have handled loyalty in your life.

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Communication – Clarity And Personal Boundaries Are Key For Positive Women

By on May 29, 2012 in communication, personal boundaries, personal growth, Positive, positive women
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When it comes to communication, clarity is key for positive women and so are personal boundaries!

I’m not sure which came first, women who say they are “FINE!” and mean otherwise or people who play power and control games with words – not saying what they really mean – leaving you and me to figure it out by reading between the lines – (Yes, that’s exactly what negative women do by saying “fine” when they are not!) but I DO know that these have created a VITAL need for personal boundaries in the area of communication!

Communicate Clearly | Positive Women Rock

“It is your responsibility

to speak what you want to say completely,

not mine to figure out what you mean

by reading between the lines.

I am a Positive Woman.

Therefore, you can depend on me

to say what I mean;

for I would not burden you with the responsibility

of playing a silly, disempowering game

of words and emotional drama, nor will I accept

that from you.” ~ Kelly Rudolph

Important Tips For Effective Communication:

  1. Know what you want and how you want it BEFORE you communicate with someone about your wishes – the clarity you receive can never be better than the clarity you give and usually not as good.
  2. Use positive language and speak what you DO want instead of what you DON’T want because you WILL get what you ask for! This will also allow you to speak half as much with twice the effectiveness and that’s just mind-blowingly exciting! 
  3. SHOW, by example, how you want to be spoken to – require people to speak clearly to you so you don’t have to waste time and energy doing the job they didn’t finish AND potentially get it wrong in the end – this is an unwinnable game for sure, and quite disrespectful of anyone who cares about you to expect you to play it!

The preceding tips are direct and as a positive woman you know it is VITAL to stand up for yourself to protect your energy and your confidence.

I look forward to you gaining clarity in your own communication and eliminating the time and energy wasting game of figuring out what other people want when they choose to be vague, which is often an attention-getting ploy played by the insecure instead of aiming toward personal growth so as to become more confident and a better contributor to a more positive society.

Remember, when it comes to communication, clarity and personal boundaries are key for positive women.

Read this post in article format at EzineArticles: Communication – Clarity And Personal Boundaries Are Key For Positive Women

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Leave me your comments below!

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Before You Go With The Flow – Video

By on April 28, 2012 in personal boundaries, Positive, positive women, Positive Women Rock

Check out my short video and let me know what you think in a comment. Thanks, Kelly

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Amazing, Simple Way To Improve Your Life Today – Video

By on April 21, 2012 in Positive, positive women, video

Positive Women, check out this video about the power of your words and how you can improve your life immediately! Leave me a message and let me know what you you think and how quickly it works for you.

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Own Your Life And Take Responsibility

By on April 11, 2012 in inner power, Positive, positive women, responsibility, video

Own Your Life - Take Responsibility | Kelly RudolphAnywhere you go, you can hear someone blaming someone else for their problems but as a Positive Women you get to own your life and take responsibility and THAT is the most honorable, powerful thing you will ever do!

“No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning oneself.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The above line was spoken by Academy Award Winning Actor Cuba Gooding Jr. in “Firelight,” his Hallmark, Hall of Fame movie about a Georgia correctional facility for young women. It was the most powerful statement by an actor who has always blown me away with the feeling and realism he puts into monologues in his powerful movies.

I got to see his movie in the Paramount Studio Theatre in Hollywood before Continue Reading →

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Positive Women Create vs Compete For What’s Already Here

By on April 4, 2012 in abundance, illness, Positive, positive women, stress
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create instead of compete | Positive Women BlogRelationships can turn competitive, coworkers are often competitive and business people manifest stress and illness with competition but Positive Women CREATE instead of competing for what’s already here.

Everything that is already here was created with thoughts, feelings and actions. Someone first thought of every product in your house, office and your vehicle. We are no different that those people who first created those things. We have the same creative gifts they have; we were born with them.

As Bob Proctor, Michael Beckwith and Jack Canfield teach in The Science Of Getting Rich (rich in all areas of life, not just financial), we were born with creative abilities but  never taught how to use them.

As positive women, we want to create abundance in our lives, right? We must focus on what we want and begin it’s creation instead of falling into scarcity mindset and competing for what we want as if there isn’t enough for everyone.

To get what we want, we Continue Reading →

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Do People Tap Into Your Energy Or Drain Your Energy?

By on March 28, 2012 in beliefs, Energy, Positive, positive woman, positive women

Energy Draining | Kelly RudolphThere is a HUGE difference between people who tap into your energy and people who drain your energy.

It is important not only to know the difference but feel the difference if you are to become and remain a positive woman.

Real-life story:

When I was 18 and working on an ambulance as an EMT going through Paramedic School, one of the senior Paramedics always wanted to partner with me for the night shift so he could “tap into my energy.”

Being around him was never draining as my energy sparked his and we both fed off of each others’ energy. We laughed and ran more calls in our 12 hours together than other crews did in twenty four! We were fresh, happy and having a blast and THAT is what happens when someone “taps into your energy.” :)

There were other partners (we had two partners per day working 24 hour shifts) I worked with and just keeping awake was Continue Reading →

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Positive Women Are DOers, Not TALKers

By on March 21, 2012 in Positive, positive woman, positive women, workout

If you know women who talk BIG but lack action, then you understand the statement, “Positive Women Are DOers, Not TALKers.”

Here’s a recent example – an illustration of my point:

I hear people talking about losing weight, what not to eat (the NOT word makes them crave it more), liposuction, diets, diet pills, tummy-tucks, brutal workout videos, sweating it up at the gym and not having time to go at lunchtime because they’ll have to shower and do their hair and makeup AGAIN. I totally understand how media has made these hot topics “trend” in our society by showing pictures of stick-thin, gorgeous models (who are really 15 yrs old) on magazine covers.

So, although many women say they are looking for the solution, most are just TALKers and not DOers.

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Kirsten's ex-pants - Excellent example of a "Positive Woman DOer."

 

Here’s why I think that:

In the midst of conversations about health and diets, I posted (on Facebook, for thousands of people to see and share) the link to my story about how my favorite workout has kept me slim and healthy since the year 2000 (that’s over 12 years at this writing!). I told how it takes only 15-17 minutes per day, is fun, simple, effective and improved everything about my health because it has to do with using the power of oxygen to my advantage.

My results: NOT ONE COMMENT, NOT ONE!

My posts ALWAYS get Continue Reading →

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Your Thoughts Create Your Results

By on March 11, 2012 in Positive, positive women, thoughts

thoughts create results | Kelly RudolphThoughts are a dime-a-dozen and everyone gives us theirs without us asking but do you realize that your thoughts create your results?

Those thoughts that float by about what you’d like to do about the rude customer or arrogant boss have a lot of power as do the wonderful thoughts you think every day. Here’s why:

  1. Thoughts produce Feelings
  2. Feelings produce Actions
  3. Actions produce Results

It’s that simple.

Your thoughts create your results can be a double-edged sword before you program yourself to see the bright side of all situations. Remember, there are ALWAYS two sides.

Why do many people get what they want faster than you do? Continue Reading →

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How To Succeed With Grace And Ease – Part 2

By on February 13, 2012 in confidence, Environment, Positive, Success
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Success Poster | Kelly Rudolph

The poster that got me to San Diego!

In the previous post, we discussed how important our environments are to our success and began with the people around us.

The people closest to you are your “inner circle” or your Relationship Environment whereas the people who are business associates or not as close are your “outer circle” or Network Environment.

The next environment we will look at is your Physical Environment. This one includes the places you live, work, go and everything IN those places. Let’s begin with the physical environment you are in right now.

Take a look around and ask yourself these questions:

  1. What do I see here in this space?
  2. Are there things that help me to visualize the person I’m becoming and my success?
  3. Are there things that keep me in my past by reminding me of who I was and disempower me?
  4. Are there things from my past that illustrate my accomplishments and give me confidence that I will be successful?
  5. What is missing that can be added to support me in moving forward to who I want to become and what I want to be successful at? (I added a beautiful framed and matted poster I bought at a yard sale for two dollars ($2) once that got me to move from Fresno to San Diego!)
  6. What needs to be deleted that is distracting and isn’t necessary to my success?

See how you have empowering and possibly disempowering things in your physical environment and how easy some of the adjustments can be?

Check out your other physical environments (office, vehicle, gym, etc) and leave a comment sharing something you are adjusting to be more supportive of your growth and success.

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